I’ve always struggled with my weight, even as a child. I’ve tried many different diets, had periods of going to the gym every single day, sometimes twice a day, and I’ve also had moments when all I’ve done is sat on my backside eating crap for weeks on end. It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster, and it’s certainly not over yet.
However, I thought I’d share some of my experiences with you all, in the hope that someone will either be able to relate or gain something from this kind of post! So, here we go.
At around the age of 13, I weighted approximately 13.5 stone, the most I’ve ever weighed. In fact, I remember that in the years previous to this my weight tended to increase with my age – 11 stone at 11, 12 stone at 12, and so on. Now, this is by no means a healthy weight, and I had absolutely no body confidence at the time. I was bullied, called names, and I hated how I looked. Although my weight was somewhat affected by being on steroids for my asthma, I also had a lot of bad habits and began to view food as a way of receiving comfort. When I was feeling down I would turn to food to feel better. Then, I would put on more weight. You can see where it was going.
Here are a couple of embarrassing photos just for your viewing pleasure.
But, as I got older I realised that something needed to change. At about the age of 14, I decided that enough was enough and I started to work out, eat healthier, and everything revolved around losing weight. Within about a year I lost 4 stone and went down to 9.5 stone. This was a HUGE confidence boost. I felt healthier, happier, and wondered why I hadn’t done it sooner.
Yet, I still wasn’t happy. In fact, I started to worry that I was too thin, and have since gained weight.
But guess what…I’m still not confident about how I look, and so the cycle continues.
There’s so much pressure to be a certain weight, or to look a certain way, and so for many of us we will never reach that ‘perfect’ body simply because we’re in the wrong mindset.
Over the next few weeks, I am hoping to go back to the gym, eat healthier, and overall build my body confidence back up, but I want to change the way I view my body in the process. Instead of going all out and putting everything into losing weight as quickly as possible, I’ll set myself realistic goals and remind myself that I’m beautiful regardless of how I look (that was hard to type, I must admit).
So, you may be seeing lots of fitness posts going up over the next few months as I attempt to regain some confidence in my body. But, I’ll be making sure to stay honest with you at every step of the way. At times I will probably think I’m fat and ugly if I haven’t been able to resist a chocolate bar, but that’s because I’m in the habit of putting myself down when it comes to my weight. Ultimately, change will come in time, and that’s just reality. But don’t worry, I will be reminding myself to stay positive, as I honestly believe that’s the best way to regain confidence in your body.
If you’ve struggled with body confidence due to your weight, I hope this post will remind you to just take a step back and think about the bigger picture. It’s incredibly difficult to be confident with your body all of the time, but we can definitely all make some changes to feel better about ourselves in the long-run.
And, I’ll be keeping you updated with tips and advice on how to do so in the near future (once I’ve figured it out for myself) – so keep an eye out!
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